"Big" Bailey

“Our 'Big' ” by Jan McCauley

My father, Richard Bailey, was a big man—both in size and in spirit. He seemed so big, in fact, that his grandchildren called him just that—“Big.”  He stood 6’2”, weighed some 220 lbs., and had a voice and a laugh that commanded attention wherever he went. If ever you met him, you never forgot him, and stories about his sense of humor, his salty language, his tenacity, his generosity and his independence are legend among the many who knew him through business, as friends and through his church. Growing up “dirt poor” during the Great Depression in a family that didn’t encourage education and offered little support, he became a great example of the American Dream: the fatherless boy who as an adult took many young men under his wing and gave them their first chance at a good job, the struggling but self-taught business owner who made sure his four daughters earned college degrees, the proud husband who announced to anyone who would listen, “I’ve got the most beautiful wife in the world.”

For the past five years, that man hasn’t known us—his wife, his daughters, sons-in-law, or grandchildren. For the past four years, that man hasn’t been able to sit up on his own, feed himself, or talk, much less stand or walk. He is, for all intents and purposes, no longer with us—yet, his body lives on. He is cared for by the staff of Marshall Manor Nursing Home and by The Hospice of East Texas.

Sandi Williams, RN, who recently retired from Hospice, was my father’s nurse and advocate, working to insure that he was as comfortable and as healthy as we could make him. Sandi’s husband had gone to high school with my father, and knowing she knew the man he used to be meant the world to me. Hearing her reassuring voice on the phone when I’d call to ask “one more question” about his status or care, and hearing her obvious concerns for his best interests re-confirmed to me that Hospice of East Texas is so much more than just a healthcare service provider. Put simply, Sandi cared.

After Sandi’s retirement, Nancy Haygood, RN, became his Hospice nurse, and she too has proven a strong advocate for my dad, working to insure that not only are his needs met, but that my mother, his partner for 56 years, is kept informed and updated about Daddy’s status and any options we might have for his care. Most importantly, he is cared for and evaluated every day by wonderful HOET aides like Jessica Hensley, who my mother considers her “extra pair of eyes and hands” caring for our Big. And to their great credit and my everlasting gratitude, HOET support staff and management, including CEO Marji Ream, take a personal interest in how he is doing and how they can continue to improve services they provide for him and for us.

I am so convicted by the love and dedication shared by Hospice of East Texas that when I turned 50, I asked all my friends to make donations to this wonderful organization in lieu of any “over the hill” birthday gifts. I am also proud to be one of the charter members of  “Friends of HOET” a support group of women who like me, are convinced that all over East Texas families are uniquely blessed by the presence and the professionalism of Hospice of East Texas.